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What that much-hated WashPo essay gets wrong about Jewish men

Although it was known that there were large numbers of mixed marriages among the third and fourth generations of the Spanish and Portuguese Jewish immigrants of the s and s and the German Jewish immigrants to America in the mid- to late nineteenth century, within the American Jewish community intermarriage was by and large not the subject of research or analysis until the s.

Until then, it was the consensus of social scientists that with the large influx of Eastern European Jewish immigrants between and mixed marriage had become a null category. The leadership and the masses of American Jews were preoccupied with breaking down any barriers to complete assimilation. Fighting discrimination and prejudice was the order of the day. Even in s America, however, mate selection is not solely a matter of romantic love.

The first voice noting a growing rate of mixed marriage was heard in an article written by Eric Rosenthal for the American Jewish Yearbook.

‘Mother,’ I said quietly, ‘remember the greatest Man who ever lived was a Jew – Jesus.’ That held her for a minute. ‘Yes,’ she murmured, ‘it is the great paradox.’”.

My wife and I have several Jewish female friends in their mids who are still single. When any of them visit, our Shabbat talk inevitably turns to the people they are dating and how difficult it is to find a nice Jewish guy with whom to start a Jewish family and raise Jewish children. One unpartnered friend, a rabbi, actually flew to Israel for in vitro fertilization and is now pregnant. These Jewishly involved single women could have other options, but those aren’t sanctioned by the Jewish community.

That’s a mistake. It is time to remove the stigma from dating and marrying non-Jewish men. The word “intermarriage” has been the convenient scapegoat for many of the ills in American Jewish life. Countless sermons have been wasted on this topic, and its specter has launched numerous fund-raising campaigns for institutions that usually have little clue on how to creatively adapt to a changing community.

As a result, many of our Jewish leaders and even major philanthropists are finding that their grandchildren are not necessarily being raised Jewishly. But not every interfaith marriage is a threat to Jewish continuity.

What that much-hated Washington Post essay gets wrong about Jewish men

I’ve spent the last year-and-half dating dudes from OKCupid, but now I’m in a place where I’m looking for a more serious relationship. I was raised Catholic, and my family still celebrates Christmas and Easter, but I find that I have the best relationships with Jewish guys. What’s the etiquette for joining a site like this when I’m not actually Jewish? Schechtman also pointed out that if you do decide to join, there’s a religion section in your profile which includes the options “willing to convert,” “not willing to convert” or “not sure if I’m willing to convert.

JTA — Carey Purcell seems to be done dating Jewish men, as she explained in a Washington Post essay that earned her a deluge of attention.

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My husband’s father and mother are Jews. My parents are both what Mr. Hitler would be pleased to call ‘Aryan’ Germans. I am an American-born girl, and the first to defend my Americanism in an argument; yet so strong are family ties, and the memory of a happy thirteen-month sojourn in the Vaterland a few years ago, that I frequently find myself trying to see things from the Nazis’ point of view and to find excuses for the things they do—to the dismay of our liberal-minded friends and the hurt confusion of my husband.

Here we are then, Ben and I, a Jew and a German-American, married for four years, supremely happy, with a three-year-old son who has his father’s quick brown eyes and my yellow hair. Ours was a fervent love match, made more fervent by the fact that we had to wait in secret for two years until Ben earned enough at his profession to support a family.

Jdate, Online dating service catering to Jewish singles, is increasing in popularity for non-Jews looking to date Jewish men and women; photos.

American Jews have been debating the impact of intermarriage for decades. Does intermarriage lead to assimilation and weaken the Jewish community? Or is it a way for a religion that traditionally does not seek converts to bring new people into the fold and, thereby, strengthen as well as diversify the Jewish community? The new Pew Research Center survey of U.

Jews did not start this debate and certainly will not end it. For example, the survey shows that the offspring of intermarriages — Jewish adults who have only one Jewish parent — are much more likely than the offspring of two Jewish parents to describe themselves, religiously, as atheist, agnostic or nothing in particular.

In that sense, intermarriage may be seen as weakening the religious identity of Jews in America. Yet the survey also suggests that a rising percentage of the children of intermarriages are Jewish in adulthood. In this sense, intermarriage may be transmitting Jewish identity to a growing number of Americans. Surveys are snapshots in time. We do not know, for example, whether the large cohort of young adult children of intermarriage who are Jewish today will remain Jewish as they age, marry and in some cases, intermarry , start families and move through the life cycle.

100 Years Of Jewish Men ‘Rebelling’ With Non-Jewish Women

He had some luck meeting women through Internet dating sites like AmericanSingles. Then he found what he now considers an online gold mine — JDate, a Web site that bills itself as “the largest Jewish singles network. Although he is Catholic by birth and upbringing, Mr. Coppola has long preferred to date Jewish women.

He’s picky and busy and on top of all that a little shy. Guy has a hard time finding a Jewish girlfriend which hasn’t even changed by moving from.

Judaism maintains that the righteous of all nations have a place in the world to come. This has been the majority rule since the days of the Talmud. Judaism generally recognizes that Christians and Moslems worship the same G-d that we do and those who follow the tenets of their religions can be considered righteous in the eyes of G-d. Contrary to popular belief, Judaism does not maintain that Jews are better than other people.

Although we refer to ourselves as G-d’s chosen people, we do not believe that G-d chose the Jews because of any inherent superiority. According to the Talmud Avodah Zarah 2b , G-d offered the Torah to all the nations of the earth, and the Jews were the only ones who accepted it. The story goes on to say that the Jews were offered the Torah last, and accepted it only because G-d held a mountain over their heads!

In Ex. Another traditional story suggests that G-d chose the Jewish nation because they were the lowliest of nations, and their success would be attributed to G-d’s might rather than their own ability. Clearly, these are not the ideas of a people who think they are better than other nations. Because of our acceptance of Torah, Jews have a special status in the eyes of G-d, but we lose that special status when we abandon Torah.

NewStatesman

Chat with us in Facebook Messenger. Find out what’s happening in the world as it unfolds. Story highlights Son of Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu reported to have non-Jewish girlfriend Jonathan Rosenblum says children of intermarriage are not considered Jewish in Jewish law Jews have always believed they were chosen for a unique mission, Rosenblum argues. The Israeli media went into one of its periodic feeding frenzies this week over reports that Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s oldest son Yair has a non-Jewish girlfriend.

Even though I no longer felt outside the norm, I still had trouble getting dates with Jewish women. Every Jewish woman I asked out on a date.

JTA — Carey Purcell seems to be done dating Jewish men, as she explained in a Washington Post essay that earned her a deluge of attention — and none of it the good kind. A wedding. Shutterstock via JTA Readers railed against the essay for its perceived stereotyping, and mocked it in various outlets and social media. Many online commenters have called it vaguely anti-Semitic. Many note that Purcell seemed to base her perception of all Jewish men on just the two she describes in the piece.

Purcell cites work by Naomi Schaefer Riley, who has written that Jews are more likely to marry out of their faith than people of other religions. The key word here is marriage — Jews are increasingly marrying spouses from other religions, not just dating non-Jewish people before finding a Jewish mate. Intermarriage is becoming more conventional, and less rebellious, every year. Purcell also invokes old stereotypes, perhaps inadvertently, of Jewish men preying on non-Jewish women.

In ‘The Marvelous Mrs. The TV show is set in the s, when interfaith marriage was much more rare among Jews than it is today. Shutterstock via JTA.

Goy Seeking Girl: Why People Pretend To Be Jewish On JDate

During his senior year, however, he falls in love with a non-Jewish woman. After serious thought and study, she converts and they marry. A few weeks after the couple has gotten settled, the phone rings in their home.

Religious or secular, self-hating bohemian or suburban accountant, they’re all pretty much annoying.

According to one obsessed person who comments on my blog, I think gentile women are superior to Jewish women. In short, follow The Rules, the best-selling dating manual written by, ahem, two Jewish women. Avi an engaging writer and oddly entertaining, albeit in a horrified watching-a-train-wreck kind of way. Avi, who lives in the Virginia suburbs of Washington, D.

It seems to rely on the assumption that outside the Orthodox community at least Jewish women are desperate to marry Jewish men, whereas Jewish men have no particular loyalty to their heritage. And I am skeptical that Ms.

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